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Marriage Advice from a Sassy Pants

Marriage Advice from a Sassy Pants

Are y’all reading Southern Living, Our Way?
Do you like cute, funny girls?
I thought so.
I have her on my blog today, I am so lucky, love this girl! (For REAL, if you aren’t reading her you should be).
She has brought you some awesome marriage advice.
And she knows what’s she talking about (or at least she thinks she does and I believe it).
Plus, she makes me laugh. So that’s the main thing here. Basically, she’s awesome.
Hi, Helene in Between readers! I’m so happy to be back guest posting on Helene’s blog today!

Well, y’all, as of December 12th, I’ve been a married woman for a whopping seven months. In Hollywood, Glenn and I are celebrating our 50th anniversary!  True story: On August 12th, which happened to be our big ol’ 3-month anniversary, we went to lunch with my best friend and her boyfriend. Being the cutesy wife I am, I wished Glenn a “Happy three months, baby! We haven’t killed each other yet!” because that’s what sappy-happy newlyweds say. My best friend replied, “Hey, y’all beat Kim Kardashian! That’s something to celebrate!” 

So, since I’ve obviously been uber successful in the marriage arena, today I thought I’d share some helpful marriage advice with you! I give you, what I’ve learned about marriage:

* You will waste a lot of breath talking to someone who may or may not be listening to you. {G-man is in the “may not” category.} However, I suggest wasting said breath anyway. It gives you ammo when hubby swears you never told him y’all had to go to your great-grandmother’s birthday party on Sunday when he planned to go golfing. Oh yes sir I did; you were just too busy pondering “Should I buy Bud Light or Budweiser?” to notice. {By the way, the answer is always Blue Moon Harvest Pumpkin Ale. Yum.}

* Don’t try to secretly fart under the covers and blame it on the dog by saying, “I’m a lady. We don’t fart.” It just doesn’t work and your husband will pay you back times a million one of these days.

Anyone else hate the word “panties”? SICK.

* There might be three times in your life that you have to say, “You’re right” to your husband. Prepare to hear about this for days because he knows it doesn’t happen often and he wants to savor the feeling. Deep down, even if he was a little bit right and you conceded, know that you were still more right because you have a vajayjay and that’s just how the world works.

* When you start to fight, get naked. NO ONE can fight with a naked person. That’s simply common knowledge.

But in all seriousness, marriage is amazing. There’s no better feeling than knowing there’s someone in this big, scary world who will be by your side no matter how often you leave laundry on the floor or how much of an asshat you are first thing in the morning.

So for real, here are my top three marriage tips:

1. You’re going to fight, that’s inevitable. But fight fair and fight well. Fight about the issue at hand and then drop it forever. {And then, per my advice above, drop your pants, too.}

2. Reminisce about your wedding often and remember how incredible that special day was to both of you and how much love and passion you felt. Unless, of course, your weird uncle got hammered and made an awful, embarrassing speech mid-reception. In that case, forget the wedding memories and go straight to the honeymoon lovefest.

3. Kiss each other! This sounds stupid and obvious, but you’d be surprised. I still get butterflies when Glenn kisses me, especially when it’s for absolutely no reason. One night we were about to go to bed and I realized we’d both been so busy that day that we hadn’t kissed once. I may have had a mini meltdown. Say it with me now ~ PDA is the way!  🙂

Thanks for having me, Helene! I hope y’all will head on over to Southern Living, Our Way and follow along 🙂
Thanks for being on the blog, Alexa!!!
Now go give her some lovin!


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