So, does the rest of the NFL know now that not being charged criminally doesn’t equal innocence in civil lawsuits, or do we need another agenda-serving Adam Schefter tweet-gone-wrong to illustrate that lining up to court Deshaun Watson is still a risky endeavor?

If you missed it — and I don’t how you did with Watson being accused of harassment and sexual assault by a starting offense and defense-worth of massage therapists — the Houston Texans quarterback will not face criminal charges. However, none of the 22 civil lawsuits that kicked off this controversy have been dropped.

You wouldn’t know that by the thirst on display from teams in search of a quarterback. ESPN reported that Carolina is prepared to make a substantial trade offer for the extremely talented QB who hasn’t played in a football game since Jan. 3, 2021. (No team has ever gotten as inadvertently lucky by pissing off their star QB as the Texans. They’re reportedly asking for three firsts, other picks, and a player, and getting offers. Hoo-ray ineptitude!)

In that story, it was revealed that multiple teams are prepared to alienate segments of their fanbases because they’re trying to replace a departed QB, are too incompetent to find a QB, or couldn’t keep the QB they had happy. Seattle, New Orleans, Tampa Bay, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Indianapolis, and Cleveland have all shown interest in acquiring Watson.

If that doesn’t make you want to question the moral axis of the universe or if God exists, then the news that Carolina did its research and that’s why they’re comfortable moving forward will. Watson pleaded the 5th during a deposition Friday morning regarding two of the civil cases, and his lawyer said he’ll answer questions about those suits after the criminal case is resolved, which it is.

Alright, then did Watson enjoy his Friday night by having a heart-to-heart over Zoom with Panthers’ owner David Tepper? Because that — and talking to each of the 22 accusers — are the only ways Carolina could have possibly done the necessary digging to throw themselves into these trade talks with so much reckless abandon that it would make Leeroy Jenkins blush. Shit, maybe Schefter was Tepper’s source for how immaculate the “truth” will be when it comes out.

Tepper was a minority owner with the Steelers when Big Roethlisberger was ultimately suspended for four games in 2010 following a Georgia student accusing him of sexual assault during a night of drinking in Milledgeville, Ga. Does that mean he’s OK with this kind of alleged behavior? I’ll leave inferences like that to Schefter. (These write themselves, people. It’s almost as if it’s not that hard to Monday-morning-quarterback the media.)

Carolina has been in search of a QB since Tepper took over in 2018, and he even stressed the importance of the position in 2020.

That’s the most important position on the field. Unless you have that guy that for sure gets you to playoffs and Super Bowls, you have to keep reevaluating that because that’s the only thing that matters is Super Bowls.

Well I’ll be, that’s a perfect quote to take out of context and put in all of your Watson-to-Carolina stories.

Also, Pittsburgh, you finally got rid of your problematic QB, and now you want to bring in another one? Can you not find a guy who your fanbase can promote as opposed to defend? You have some of the best fans in the NFL, and they deserve better.

Same goes for the 12th Man in Seattle and Who Dat in New Orleans. Indy and Cleveland have great fans, as well. You can’t control whether your team’s owner is a hateable buffoon, though, and unfortunately the Jims — Irsay and Haslem — qualify as highly hateable and buffoonish.

*Extremely sarcastic/surprised voice* You too, Philly? I thought there was “no doubt” Jalen Hurts would be the starter next year. That said, general managers are supposed to spew lies like that, so if eating horse shit brings you joy — which it apparently does for Philly fans — rejoice! Howie Roseman has a steaming pile ripe to gnash on.

Coincidentally, a hefty load of feces also is how I’d describe the constant charade that anything other than winning matters in the NFL. Tepper knows it, too, and regardless of if that’s what he meant when he said “the only things that matters is Super Bowls,” his decision to pursue a QB with 22 pending civil cases over alleged harassment and sexual assault, says all we need to know.