Whenever I see sports media beef, my reaction is to wonder what’s for dinner or daydream about literally anything else. So when I saw that Draymond Green ripped Bill Simmons for Simmons’ saying, “Fuck Jalen Green,” I looked out the window and pondered whether this spring sprinkle in Chicago was going to develop into a rainfall too heavy for my puffy vest to withstand during the commute home.

If you read the headline and clicked on it, I’m obligated to inform you that Green was upset that Simmons has an awards ballot and thus has a say in the potential earnings of NBA players. That’s the case because accolades have a direct effect on how big of a contract an organization can give a player. So when Simmons said “Fuck Jalen Green,” he may have been joking, but in the current sports news cycle, it’s not what you meant, it’s what got aggregated.

Simmons half-heartedly backtracked, but the tree of hot takes must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of podcasters and tyrants. Draymond’s rebuke was off base — “What work has [Simmons] done in his life that qualifies him to have a say in an NBA players salary?” — but it wasn’t out of the ordinary.

Also, there’s no correct side here because both are wrong. Simmons’ claim that wins should be taken into account when voting for Rookie the Year is like judging a restaurant by its profits, and not its food, in the first few months of opening. Give him a sec, man, damn. This isn’t the MVP. The Houston guard put enough good food in the window not to be summarily dismissed.

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That isn’t an endorsement of Green either because if he’s beside himself with his usual outrage over whether Simmons is qualified to determine how much a player makes, he should take it up with the NBPA and the owners because that stupid ass awards-contract clause isn’t a new thing. Broach the subject with players’ association president CJ McCollum on his podcast if you’re so irate.

And if Green is going to attack a media member’s credibility because they never played in the NBA, maybe go after a guy whose obsession with the league doesn’t border on a clinical disorder. I guarantee there were worse ballots submitted than the one Simmons filled out.

Taking a side in this debate is akin to picking between steamed broccoli and steamed asparagus, only if steamed broccoli and steamed asparagus had huge followings. I know saying, “Who gives a shit” is as dismissive as Simmons’ comments on Jalen Green, so I hope my apathy wasn’t overt enough to send you elsewhere for this clickbait.

At least this article(?) wasn’t just Green’s quote copied and pasted into a post. There’s a semi-thought out analogy in there and a play on the Thomas Jefferson quote Ed Harris recited in The Rock to go along with the abundance of anarchy.

Anyway, what’s for dinner? I sure hope it’s not steamed broccoli and asparagus.