Johnny Depp is opening up about the time when Amber Heard allegedly wanted to meet up with him, despite having a domestic violence restraining order against him.

The moment when the tip of Johnny‘s finger was cut off happened during that meeting, which was in July 2016.

Amber filed for divorce in May 2016 and less than a week later, her restraining order was filed. While speaking in court on Monday (April 25), Johnny says that she requested to meet up with him in July when he was in San Francisco for his tour.

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“We went to a hotel room so we could finish the discussion that she wanted to have with me, he said (via People).

Johnny continued, “I was quite confused as to why I had been summoned to her at that point since all the news was just about the fact that I had allegedly done all these horrible things to her. So I was talked into going there and met with her in hopes that she would retract her lies that the world was now fed. In no way was she ready to do that, and I couldn’t understand why I was there — everything had been taken from me, my children couldn’t escape the fact that all this had gone down.”

He said that at the time, he was “really just at the end, just at the end; I couldn’t take it anymore.” He also felt that Amber asked him to meet her “under false pretenses.”

“I don’t know what she was after, so I had a knife in my pocket and I just took the knife out and said, ‘Here — cut me, that’s what you want to do. Ultimately you’ve taken everything. You want my blood? Take it. Have my blood.’ And then she said, ‘No, no’ and then I said, ‘Look, if you’re not going to take it and you want it, I know you want it — that’s all I’ve got left — take it.’ If she wasn’t going to do it, I would’ve done it because that’s psychologically, emotionally where I was. I was at the end, I was broken,” he said.

There’s an audio clip that played in court in which Johnny appears to say he chopped his own finger off.