This weekend marked the start of the 2022 version of the USFL, and almost immediately we have one of the stupidest football stories of all-time. The Pittsburgh Maulers released a video of them cutting running back De’Veon Smith that feels like it has to be fake because of how ridiculous it is, but it’s apparently very real.

Smith was released for asking for a slice of pizza.

More aptly, he was cut for wanting pizza instead of a chicken salad. Maulers coach Kirby Wilson breaks the news to Smith, citing that his pizza demand was in violation of a line in the player’s contract requiring no “disrespect of football or members, staff, USFL, hotel etc.”

This seems extremely overwrought considering that by Smith’s account he was eating with the team, asked for a slice of pizza, and when he was refused a staff member said “is this going to be a problem?” to which the player replied “yes.”

We don’t really know exactly what the Maulers’ problem was, because they never explain it to the player. Kirby Wilson just keeps thanking Smith for giving the team his side of the story, but is hell bent on sticking to his guns that asking for a spice of pizza and getting slightly miffed when being refused was tantamount to disrespecting the team.

We now know what Smith was referring to when he posted this tweet on Friday of last week.

I’m not going to yuck anyone’s yum, but in my humble opinion, Smith is 100 percent in the right because chicken salad is trash. It’s without a doubt the worst chicken preparation. Chicken is so delicious is so many different ways, and you’re gonna hose down some dried out chicken breast in mayo, add some chopped up celery, and GOD FORBID crap like walnuts and grapes and call it a culinary delight? Hell no.

The Maulers later released a statement saying that the viral video clip lacked context and Smith broke multiple rules prior to being cut. Smith denies that:

I stand with De’Veon Smith for wanting pizza instead of chicken salad. Screw the Maulers for this.